Building Rapport Skills, Part 1

Rapport is the feeling you get when you’re connected with another person. Have you ever had a time when you were talking to someone, and as you talked, you felt incredibly connected … Like there was a golden bubble around just the two of you? That’s rapport.

NLP and hypnosis experts have broken down the building rapport skills, but rapport is something that also happens naturally. So a word of warning before we get started – Don’t get too caught up “using rapport techniques” to have a natural conversation!

The first technique we’ll talk about is called “Body Language Mirroring.” If you watch two people in a deep conversation, you’ll often notice that their body language is subtly mirroring one another.

By doing this yourself, you’ll help facilitate the feeling of “you’re just like me.”

Here’s the cardinal rule of body language mirroring:

The other person must not know what you’re doing!

The purpose of body language mirroring is to subconsciously create a connection. If he/she realizes you’re mirroring their body language, that will quick break rapport. To keep your mirroring from his/her conscious awareness, wait 2-3 seconds before mirroring whatever they do.

Here’s a small list of things you can mirror …

• Position of legs and arms – Crossed, open, palms up
• Head tilt
• Hand gestures (Use the same general gestures he does throughout the conversation)
• Breathing speed
• Rate of speech
• Visual/Auditory/Kinesthetic keywords – Advanced (More on this later)

By mirroring these, you can very quickly create a feeling of powerful connection. Once again, the cardinal rule is do not let the other person become aware that you’re mirroring.

More building rapport skills to come, so stay tuned!

- Derek Young